Still Yet Another Akatsuki New Year's Eve
by AkiraDawn
Summary: It's New Year's Eve once again with Akatsuki! Surely there will be no drinking? No one will do ANYTHING stupid! And there is absolutely positively no chance of Pein and Konan showing up with the leader....is there? Enjoy and Happy 2008!
1. Kisame and the Snow Blower

Still Yet Another Akatsuki New Years Eve

You know the drill…I don't own Naruto, don't make any money off my fics

"No! No! No! No! I'm the one who's engaged! I should be the one to get to decide what we do for New Year's Eve!" Itachi was already ranting in the kitchen.

"Look, Lola's birthday is December 28, we will plan her birthday first and then New Year's." Sasori said logically.

"No! What part of that don't you get! It's about me because I'm the engaged one! Why do you deserve to make the plans?" Itachi whined.

"Because every damn thing we ever try to do revolves around you and your ridiculous high maintenance demands. I swear to god you are the most self centered and thoughtless person I have ever had the displeasure to know." Sasori told him while jotting some notes down. Itachi gasped.

"I am NOT self centered….I just like for things to go my way when I want them and on New Year's…..yeah Lola is definitely not in my plans." Itachi said flipping silky hair around.

"You…..are heartless." Sasori said. Itachi stormed off mad that he so far had not gotten his way.

" Hey, what are you doing right now? Do you have time to help me install this stupid…..why is there a key to an Acura MDX on our counter?" Kisame asked Sasori.

"Because, Lola got an Acura MDX for Christmas." Sasori laughed. "I love her license plate: RGU4U. You know, that is a really nice car." Kisame shook his head.

"I always knew something like this would happen….I always knew one of us would end up with someone much too successful for our own good….I just never really expected it to be you. I always figured it would be Itachi….oh my god how I was wrong." Kisame deduced. Sasori was getting ready to explain something about Lola's soon to come birthday when Marisol and Dana came rushing down the stairs.

"Oh my god! Sasori look at this totally cute sign that me and Marisol made, yeah!" Dana was so excited over their work. Sasori read it out loud: "Happy 40th Birthday Lola. Don't worry most women your age have kids, yeah." Sasori was slightly puzzled. "Um….okay…..that's…..nice….but what's with that blob at the bottom?" Sasori asked ignoring the sign and finalizing his notes.

"Well, that's where Princess helped us….Deidara's washing her because her little paws are covered in black paint. Oh and look what we got her!" Marisol said holding up an unwrapped gift. Marisol and Dana were smiling all over because they thought it was THE perfect gift.

"You got Lola a gavel?" Sasori wondered.

"Yes! See, me and Dana were watching one of those court shows and there was this lady with one of these and she was like in this court room so…..Dana and I had never seen Lola with one and we went out and bought this! Now she can take it to work with her and…..do whatever you do with these things!

"That's….nice why don't you wrap it up. Oh and Lola's going to need a receipt with that." Sasori called to both of them as they hurried back upstairs.

"Hey, about New Year's Eve Itachi and Deidara are wanting to go to some trendy club with Dana and Marisol, I heard Itachi upstairs talking a mile a minute to Deidara." Hidan stopped to laugh. "Oh my god he is covered in soap. Watching him wash a cat is like…..god it's….it's too funny. You should go up there. Anyway, what do you say you and me and Lola go downtown to that party at the Embassy Suites, seriously?" Hidan asked.

"No but thanks. Me and Lola have tickets to a New Years gala her office if having. Hey will you do something for me? Come with me to that place that has the gourmet cheesecakes and help me pick one out. I mean god, they are all so damn good." Sasori asked.

"You mean Cheesecake Factory? Hell yeah I'll go! You know there was a Jasshin get together there once." Hidan said. Just then the front door slammed.

"THAT'S IT! STUPID KISAME! GOD!" Zetsu was covered in snow. He panted angrily. "I can't believe that the leader let Kisame get that damn snow blower!! First, he plowed the mailbox over! Then, he ran over the curb out near the street! After that he put the damn thing into Turbo mode and now look at me! I'm….I'm…..aaaagggghhh! plants can't live in these snowy conditions! I'm going to get warm." And a very snowy Zetsu stormed off. Off course chaos hadn't been escaped yet….

"Aaaaaaggggghhhhhh! Aaaaagggghhhhhhh! OH MY GOD MY HAIR IS CAUGHT IN THE DOOR! IT'S STUCK…..AND IT'S IN THE DOOR! OH MY GOD GET IT OUT KAKUZU HELP ME, YEAH!" Deidara screamed as he held a dripping wet kitten.

"You know, the way I see it, I'm going to be on so much blood pressure medication by the time I'm 45 that I won't even pay attention to Deidara's crap." Hidan shook his head in agreement to Sasori's comment.

"So what did you get Lola?" Hidan wanted to know. Sasori looked around carefully and then pulled something out of the kitchen telephone book drawer and shoved it in front of Hidan.

"Oooooooooh my god….Ooooooh dear Jasshin…….fuck you all but married her with these." Hidan said staring at the tickets to the New England vs. Vikings game in Massachusetts. "Damn it Sasori do you realize you could get her to do anything to you now?"

"You….are sick." Sasori quickly stashed them away again."

"SNOWMAN! SNOWMAN! SNOWMAN!" Tobi came screaming through the door.

"Hey, Tobi take that snowsuit off at the door. You know how Kisame gets when you leave clothes laying round the house." Kakuzu said coming down the stairs counting his money.

"So….Tobi….did you make a snowman or something?" Hidan asked.

"Yep! Yep! Yep! It's 7 feet tall!"

"That's nice Tobi. Is Kisame okay?" Hidan wondered.

"Hmmmm….well he flung snow all over the back side of the house….but he looks like he's having fun." Tobi answered.

"Awwww….look at my fluffy clean kitty, yeah! Awww, you are just the prettiest, fluffiest, kitty! Now you won't play in the paint again will you Princess? No you won't, yeah. No you won't. I so dried with the hairdryer, yeah. Isn't she cuuuuute." Deidara demanded of anyone that would answer him downstairs.

"OH MY GOD THE SNOWBLOWER IS THE SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S LIKE A 5 TICKET THRILL RIDE!!!!!!!!!" the adrenaline pumped Kisame yelled as he came through the door.

"Oh my god, that is so what Itachi says about Dana, yeah. Isn't it Princess? Isn't that what Itachi says?" Deidara kissed Princess.

"You know speaking of….thrill rides…..last New Year's Eve didn't you and Marisol seal the deal?" Sasori asked innocently.

"Oh my god…….YES!!!!!!!!" Deidara screamed. "She has no idea what I'm doing for her for this wonderful amazing New Year's, yeah. I SO CAN'T WAIT!"


	2. The Birthday Jello

Hey everyone! I added a poll to my profile page, I thought it would be fun. I'll come up with some other fun polls in the future too if this one is successful in actually getting people to vote. If you want to take a minute to go answer my pole question!!

"Marisol, we should make Lola some birthday Jello, yeah!" Dana said excitedly.

"Oh my god! The blue raspberry kind or watermelon?" Marisol wondered.

"Blue raspberry, yeah! Oh! And we'll even use the cookie cutters to make some fun shapes. Oh my god Marisol this is going to be like soooo much fun! Come on let's get to the kitchen, yeah!' Dana said pulling Marisol out of their bedroom and down the stairs toward the kitchen.

"Okay, Marisol….how do you make Jello, yeah?" Dana wondered as the two of them now stood in the kitchen.

"Oh! Let's read the box. I bet there are instructions somewhere on the box!" Marisol said digging through drawers looking for the box of blue raspberry Jello. Here it is. Awwww and look who's going to help us make the Jello!!!" Marisol said excitedly as Princess hopped up to the kitchen counter. Okay, Dana what do we do first?"

"We need a bowl, yeah. Do you think this cereal bowl will work?"

"Hmmmm, no it says right here that we will have to add water so we might need this great big bowl." Marisol said handing Dana a giant bowl.

"Perfect! Alright now it says right here that we need to boil water, so I'll turn the stove on and you find the cookie cutters, yeah." Dana instructed. Upstairs Itachi and Deidara were cleaning and Itachi was rattling off his list of New Year's resolutions.

"You know Deidara, I'm really going to make a change in my life for 2008. First, I was thinking about hair extensions….you know for thw wedding and all what do you think? Deidara are you listening to me?" Itachi asked folding pants carefully.

"Look at what I got Marisol for our one year anniversary, yeah." Deidara sat down on the bed with a box. He pulled the lid off and squealed at the sight before him.

"She's wanted that purse for like two months." Itachi said touching the Dior purse. "She will really like it."

"I know! Now look inside, yeah!" Deidara said. Itachi opened it up.

"Holy shit. A three diamond drop necklace inside the Dior purse….damn even I like this and I'm 100 percent man. You did good. She will love them both….shit how many carats are those diamonds?"

"Each one is 2 carats, yeah! I sooooo can't wait!"

"So anyway, about my resolutions…I've also decided that I'm going to be a little bit more gentle towards Sasuke….even though I am the hotter one and he deserves to know that." Itachi said. "Oh and I'm going to lose two pounds. And run every day to the end of our street and you're going to come with me. Another thing I'm going to do this year is clip coupons. So about the hair extensions, what do you think? I just want another 3 inches."

"So why don't you just let your hair grow three more inches, yeah?"

"Because that will take so long and Marisol could have the extensions put on in like 2 hours."

"Well wait, are you talking just in the front or all over, yeah?"

"Here, look. Here's what I'm thinking…" And Itachi proceeded to explain.

"Damn! Now she is hot, don't you think she's hot. Come on, seriously you HAVE to think she's hot!" Hidan said. Sasori stared at Hidan.

"No, I'm terribly sorry that I don't think she's hot now would you please sample this amazing mocha swirl cheesecake?"

"You know, a girl like that would look good on my arm, seriously. No, I don't' like this cheesecake. We're going to need her to get some more samples. Lola wouldn't like any of these. Hidan said.

"Could we try the caramel praline, the dulce de leche, the chocolate hazelnut, the pineapple coconut and the cranberry, seriously?" Hidan asked. And so the woman went away to get those samples.

"Hidan, we don't have time to sample every cheesecake here. We have to pick something." Sasori insisted.

"But Sasori….she has got one fine ass, seriously. DAMN!" Sasori shook his head.

"See, I remember these days….I was 31 and I didn't chase anything older than 25…god am I glad those days are gone. I was a complete idiot you know? And now I have everything that….shit you aren't even listening to me; you're picturing her naked I can tell. You are one sick pervert, Hidan."

"Has anyone noticed that Tobi built a seven foot snowman outside?" Kakuzu asked.

"Yeah, he was working on that while I was working on the snow….speaking of which I think another inch of snow has falled…..I SHOULD RUN THE SNOW BLOWER! I'll be back in twenty….no thirty minutes." Kisame said grabbing his coat and going back outside.

"You know, Kisame is right. There has been more snow fall out there. I'd say there's a total of eight inches of snow on the ground." Kakuzu said looking outside.

"Oh my god! Marisol! The water is boiling. Now what do we do, yeah?" Dana wondered.

"We now add cold water and stir the mix into the hot water! Oh and look at the cookie cutters I found. There's a circle, a tree, a heart, a pumpkin and a star!" Marisol said showing Dana the cookie cutters.

"Great! We'll mix the Jello and pour it in one of those thin pans so we can cut fun shapes out later, yeah!" Dana was thrilled. Of course while they were in the process of making the birthday Jello...the almost birthday girl walked in.

"Get this, okay it's 3:00 right? Well, let me tell you something. It's snowing like a bitch out there and I had 4 clients cancel on me just because the bus doesn't run out of town when it snows 8 inches. Damn, they could never survive in Connecticut. I can't believe I'm home at 3:00. Hell, is anyone even listening to me? Am I talking to air like I do most of the time?" Lola said out loud stripping herself of her shoes so she could wipe them off and leaving a slightly wet coat hanging by the door. "What are you two doing?" Lola asked Marisol and Dana as she started upstairs to change.

"I can tell you what we're not doing….we're NOT making Jello, yeah!" Dana said standing in front of the blue liquid filled tray.

"Whatever." Lola said absently leaving the two of them behind.

"Whoa! That was like so close Dana. I bet she was totally suspicious that it was birthday Jello." Marisol said.

"Hey, is there any room in the refrigerator for this?" Sasori asked now that he and Hidan had finally returned from the cheesecake quest.

"Oh my god Sasori, Lola is totally here. You better put it in the fridge out in the laundry room. She came home early today.

"Oh shit…okay well distract her if she comes downstairs. Hidan, come help me move all that yogurt around." Sasori panicked. They did decide on the delightful cranberry cheesecake. But would Dana and Marsiol successfully complete the birthday Jello?


	3. Odd Gifts

"Alright, Lola has to work until 7:00 tonight. I'm picking her up from the office and we're going to dinner. When we're on our way back I'm going to call you because I want the cake out of the fridge, and the huge ass box sitting in the middle of the living room. Do you understand?"

"YES!" Deidara practically screamed. "Hey, Sasori what's in the huge ass box? Oh my god, did you get her a toaster oven, yeah?" Deidara wondered.

"Um…no. Those are the Patriots tickets I got like a month ago, but I secretly wrapped them in a total of 8 boxes….she won't have a clue. She'll think I got her something like a shop vac." Sasori said.

"Come on Marisol let's check the Jello, yeah." Dana insisted. Marisol opened up the refrigerator.

"Wow! Check out those shapes Dana! We did like so good on that Jello! Oh my god we have to get our sign ready for tonight and we have to get our gift." Dana and Marisol went upstairs to get their party things together.

"Check out what I got Lola for her birthday. Think she'll like this?" Kakuzu asked.

"You got her colored file organizer tabs?" Sasori asked.

"Well…..I mean they WERE on sale." Kakuzu said.

"Yeah, okay just make sure it's in the living room tonight."

"Oh hey by the way this is from me, seriously." Hidan said showing Sasori his pre-wrapped gift.

"What the fuck Hidan!? KY touch massage warming liquid?"

"Oh shit….I should've stuck with the Starbucks assorted coffee gift basket shouldn't I. Damn it Hidan!" Hidan yelled at himself.

"Um….I think so….this gift…well it's…um…..well it's just a little too sexual."

"Sasori! I got this for Lola! I wrapped it in the newspaper. It's a honey baked ham!" Tobi said excitedly.

"That's very nice Tobi…maybe you should refrigerate it until tonight."

"Alright, Marisol….I need your opinion. Me plus hair extensions….what do you think? Would Dana think that was hot?"

"Hmmm….oh my god are you thinking new year new you!?" Marisol asked.

"Yes, exactly." Itachi said flipping hair around so that she could make a clear decision.

"It may look really great…I'll put them in and then you can decide. Besides, they will loosen up over time so I can always take them out and put new ones in." Marisol explained.

"But what would Dana think of it? Do you think she would want me?" Itachi asked.

"Well, she already does….of course she would!" Marisol said.

"Alright, so everything is set for Lola's birthday now let's talk about New Year's Eve." Zetsu insisted.

"Well, I can tell you right now that me Deidara, Dana and Marisol are on the VIP list for entrance to this amazing new club downtown. We will so be there at midnight." Itachi insisted.

"I so can't wait for that!" Marisol said.

"Okay, so apparently you have plans…" Zetsu said.

"Yeah, about New Year's…me and Lola are going to her office gala at one of the hotels in town. The office pays for it…it's going to be freaking sweet."

"Damn it! Me, Kisame, Hidan, Kakuzu and Tobi are NOT going to be stuck here again watching the Seinfeld season 2!" Zetsu ranted.

"I FUCKING LOVE SEINFELD! I'M SO DOING THAT, SERIOUSLY!" Hidan yelled. "Oh my god, I'll pop popcorn that night and sweet talk Lola into making a lasagna, seriously!" Hidan was pumped.

"No! That will cost money to make a lasagna…let's just have ice water." Kakuzu argued.

"Fuck you! Lola makes amazing lasagna! We'll have lasagna that night with Seinfeld." Hidan yelled back at him.

"Oh, lasagna and popcorn, that's real thinking, Hidan….dumb ass." Kakuzu challenged.

"Oh my god! Don't you make me get the scythe! I could strip your ass of its outer flesh in two minutes! I love popcorn and I love Lola's lasagna! Oh and I love alcohol….we'll have that too!" Hidan yelled.

"Fine me and Tobi will stay upstairs, drink ice water and play Scrabble!" Kakuzu yelled back.

"You moron Tobi is a horrible Scrabble player, seriously!"

"Yes, but he happens to enjoy ice water!" Kakuzu argued.

"Whatever, you're going to miss the Seinfeld marathon. " Hidan said. Kisame sighed.

"We always do the Seinfeld thing every New Year's Eve….wow, hey that's like our tradition!" Kisame said. "I mean think about it…all the hot ones go out and do their thing and we sit here with Seinfeld. Well, Hidan is pretty hot….I'm not sure why he's staying home with us." Kisame finished. All eyes were now on him. "What? Yeah, I said it….Hidan you're a hot guy."

"Yeah, okay well I'm going to the liquor store to get wine for Lola's party tonight and for New Year's. If anyone wants to go come now, if you have any requests tell me now." Sasori ordered.

"Kool Aid! The tropical punch kind!" Tobi shouted.

"Yes Tobi, Kool Aid." Sasori said nonchalantly. Hidan agreed to join Sasori and so they quickly left the house. They were running out of time. It was already 5:00. Lola would be done at the office at 7. By the time Sasori and Hidan returned they would have just enough time to get back home and make certain everything was in order for Lola's party.

"So are you thinking about a New Year's resolution for this year Kakuzu?" Zetsu asked.

"Yeah, there's a few…but I just can't seem to decide on the best one. I know that Itachi already has his, Deidara has his, Marisol and Dana already know theirs. Even dumbass Hidan has a resolution in mind!" Kakuzu said frustrated.

"If it makes you feel better, I don't know what mine will be for this year. See, we always write our resolutions down and then magnet them to the refrigerator for the entire month of January." Zetsu explained.

"Dana, I just don't get it…football tickets? What kind of a birthday gift is that? I mean, I so just don't get that game." Marisol said and she and Dana put the finishing touches on Lola's birthday card.

"Oh you know how Lola is….she likes some strange things, yeah. Like, you know how she is always doing banking and talking on that Bluetooth headset? I think the football thing is like that, yeah."

So what is Lola's reaction going to be to this super amazing gift? What about the birthday Jello…is it going to be edible? And all that snow outside! Surely Kisame won't suit up and run the snow blower again….will he?


	4. Happy Birthday Lola

Just to update everyone, Lola is currently winning by a landslide in the poll on my profile page. Ironically, she appears a lot in this chapter!

"AAAAGGGHHHHHH! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOLA, YEAH!"

"YAY LOLA! YOU'RE OLD TODAY! AAAGGGGGHHHHHH!" Marisol and Dana had greeted Lola with their giant sign and were now screaming with excitement that she and Sasori had arrived home from dinner.

"Yeah…..okay unless you two stop bouncing I will have no idea what that sign says." Lola said rather dryly.

"Oh, sorry, yeah. We are just like so completely and totally excited about your birthday, yeah!" Dana said as she and Marisol stopped bouncing so Lola could read the sign. She read it out loud.

"Happy 40th birthday Lola. Don't worry most women your age have kids, yeah. Um…..it's nice…uh…thanks….that's just….once hell of a sign right there." Lola said rather confused over the sign.

"Um, they made Jello. But don't worry, honey there's a cranberry cheesecake in the living room." Sasori whispered.

"Oh god….bring it on…the cake….not the Jello." Lola answered.

"Hey, how was dinner?" Kisame asked.

"It was absolutely amazing. I'd tell you to try that place, you know if you liked good and food and everything." Sasori answered him as Dana and Marisol grabbed Lola and sat her on the couch between them.

"Okay, Lola because we love birthdays so much me and Dana made you…..BIRTHDAY JELLO!!! AAAAGGGGHHHHHHH! OH MY GOD LOOK IT'S EVEN THE BLUE KIND!!" Marisol was extremely excited about her birthday.

"O…..k…..let me try the star shaped one." Lola said reluctantly looking t the wiggly wobbly Jello shapes. Lola took the giggly star and took a small bite of it. She looked at Sasori with suspicious eyes. "It's just terrific! God…that's…some bitchin' birthday Jello right there." Lola said as seriously as she could without gagging. She put the star back on the plate.

"Oh my god, Sasori cut that cheesecake before I cut you, seriously!" Hidan said obviously needing the cranberry cheesecake badly. Right now Lola was caught in a hug from both Dana and Marisol…..she was terribly uncomfortable.

"Awww, Princess wants to tell you happy birthday Lola!" Marisol said picking Princess up.

"Good god get the cat away!" Lola snapped. Marisol quickly put Princess back down to the floor.

"Honey, you open this card from Tobi and the gift he got you and I'll cut you a piece of the cheesecake." Sasori instructed her.

"Happy Birthday, hope your birthday is terrrrrific. From Tobi." Lola read it out loud. It had a picture of a tiger on it. Lola opened up the gift that Tobi had given her. "Oh, a honey baked ham….interesting. I'll drop that off at the office." Lola whispered the last part.

"Here." Sasori handed her the cheesecake and shoved Marisol further down the couch so he could squeeze between them. "This is from Hidan." Lola took a bite of the cheesecake.

"Oh god….this is….this is all kinds of delicious. Here, you taste it." And now for Hidan's gift…

"Lola, oh my god you have such a sweet ass, oh my god, seriously from Hidan. Well, now that's an upfront card." Lola said not completely certain what to say. She quickly opened up his gift because she noticed that Sasori had already eaten most of her cheesecake. "Oh….KY Touch Massage Warming Liquid….." There was a lot of silence. "You know I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what to say…um….yeah. Where's that cheesecake?"

"Lola you…are…welcome." Hidan winked at her.

"Whatever, quick give me that knife I need the cranberries." Lola poked Dana to give her the knife.

"This is from me Lola. I'm sure you will find it only at least one hundred times better than Hidan's stupid ass gift." Kakuzu reassured. "I didn't get you a card because there were none on sale. Oh and I wrapped it in today's newspaper." Kakuzu stated the obvious.

"So I see." Lola said opening the gift up. "Oh file tab organizers. That's just great." Lola didn't have the heart to tell Kakuzu that she could get hundreds of file tab organizers at the office…..for FREE. She had now gotten more of the exquisite cheesecake.

"Oh my god, this is so from me and Dana! You already saw our card!" Lola took their gift and opened it up. "Did you steal this gavel from a judge somewhere?" Lola asked out loud.

"Isn't it totally great, yeah!? Dana asked, smiles all over.

"Well, I can use it to beat my secretary in the head…she's such a dipshit. But you know, she is sleeping with someone in that office I just know that's why she still has that job." Lola said getting off track.

"Are you talking about that girl I sometimes see sitting in that open area where your office is?" Sasori asked her.

"Yes! That stupid girl that's ALWAYS on the phone trying to schedule a damn acrylic nail appointment!" Lola said as she ate on the cheesecake.

"Oh my god, did you know that Lola had a birthday? I didn't get her shit and these gifts that she has gotten are total and absolute crap!" Kisame whispered to Zetsu.

"I know I feel really badly that I completely disregarded her birthday. Why do we ignore Lola so much?"

"I think it's because since she works all the time and is so low maintenance she slips through the cracks." Kisame said logically.

"Alright, here honey I got this for you. I hate to have you hand me that cheesecake again. God, what a bummer….you really need two hands for this."Sasori took Lola's cheesecake for her, but promised her more.

"Oh my god! Is this a shop vac for the car? I hope so!" Lola tore off the outer layer, it was the perfect trick because it was a shop vac box….but there was no shop vac inside.

"Why didn't we get Lola anything for her birthday, yeah?" Deidara asked Itachi.

"Because I was mad at Sasori." Itachi said expecting Deidara to completely understand this. Seven boxes later, Lola was down to the last box. Of course once she got the last box open…. Her reaction was priceless.

"OOOOOOOOOH MY GOD! OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! OOOOOOOOH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD!" Lola now had her arms around Sasori.

"He is gonna get laaaaaaaaid." Kisame told Zetsu.

"Yeah…..he is."

"Okay, this is over, I'm going upstairs." Itachi said leaving everyone.

"I love you and I love these tickets…..OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE GOING TO MASSACHUSETTS TO WATCH THE PATRIOTS!" Sasori had indeed done a wonderful job. It made up for all the completely stupid gifts. Deidara decided he was going to try some of Lola's birthday Jello. He just HAD to try the circle one.

"Um…Marisol…..the Jello tastes weird, yeah." Deidara told her.

"It does?" Marisol asked walking over to him so that she could taste the Jello too. "Oh my god, this stuff is terrible….I wonder what we did to it?" Marisol asked. After some brief investigating, it was discovered that Dana and Marisol had put 4 cups of water in the Jello instead of 3….it was an honest mistake for those two.

"I knew you'd love to go watch the Patriots game at the home stadium. Come on let's take the cheesecake upstairs before Hidan eats the rest of it." Sasori pulled Lola up off the couch. It had tuned into a pleasant birthday after all….of course New Year's was still to come.


	5. Itachi's New Hair

In a landslide victory of 17 votes….Lola is the poll winner!! There is a NEW poll on my profile that you can check out. It's a much tougher question this time so cast your vote!

New Year's Eve…..Itachi was in complete drama mode, Tobi was outside making another snowman this time his goal was to make an even bigger snowman. Kisame had once again infatuated himself with the snow blower since another five inches of snow had fallen the previous night.

"Marisol! Marisol! Let's go we have…..what like…..10 hours to put these hair extensions in?" itachi panicked.

"It's okay itachi. Here check….this….out." Marisol showed Itachi his beautiful hair extensions, so shiny, so sleek and beautiful. Itachi was in love. "Alright, listen. Here's what we're going to do." Marisol began explaining. "You have like 3 inches of your hair that need to come off, so I'm going to trim it up and work on the layers in the front and then put these extensions in. Now, listen carefully. Your hair is going to be thicker once I get finished….you're not used to thick hair like Deidara's because yours is thinner and fine." Marisol explained.

"Oh Marisol….I….am so fine, I can handle it."

"Well, I know, but I want to let you know that you are going to have to get used to using a leave in conditioner every day….OKAY! LET'S START!" Marisol was very excited.

"OH MY GOD NSYNC BROKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NSYNC……BROKE……UP!!!!!!!! IT'S JUST JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE NOW!" Zetsu same screaming into the living room, which since an episode like this was so terribly unlikely for Zetsu, Marisol nearly squeezed an entire tube of pre moisturizing rinse all over Itachi's head.

"Zetsu….I uh, hate to tell you this but…..first NSYNC has and always will…suck…and second….they've been broken up now for like a few years." Sasori answered him as he calmly continued making meatballs for New Year's Eve. Zetsu blinked a few times and just as quickly as the episode started, it was over.

"Oh…..well….okay. Maybe I overreacted a little bit." Zetsu said and then went about his business.

"Oh my god! Dana! Which should I wear to the club tonight! Remember, this is me and Marisol's anniversary, yeah. So, you know it can't be anything gross, yeah."

"Hmmmm…." Dana thought very hard. "Oh! What about that really amazing patchwork Christian Dior shirt with the ultra retro chic throwback to the 70's pants, yeah?" Dnaa questioned. Naturally Deidara screamed over this.

"That is completely perfect, yeah! Oh my god, I will match her purse! AAAAGGGHHHHHHH! I CAN'T WAIT, YEAH!" Deidara really needed to tone it down about 5 notches or else Marisol would find out everything.

Hidan had gone to Blockbuster to rent seasons 1, 2 and 3 of Seinfeld. Naturally, he and Kakuzu had a huge fight over the fact that it would cost $10.75. Hidan won the argument mainly because he started swearing so loudly that Kakuzu couldn't get a word in edgewise any longer. Kakuzu was now sitting in the living room watching his favorite daytime rerun soaps. It was a pretty calm afternoon…..that was until 5:00 when Lola got home from the office.

"Okay, so listen to this. My stupid office….yeah….they cancelled the gala tonight! All because of a measly 12 inches of snow!" Lola said disappointedly.

"What? You're kidding they cancelled it?" Sasori asked pouring his sauce over the meatballs.

"My stupid assistant Jonathon comes in and is all 'hey Lola the gala is off tonight, 6 more inches of snow is predicted'. And I'm all, 'say whaaaaaaaaat' and you wanna talk about pissed!" Lola ranted.

"Well, since the gala has been called off we can ask Pein and Konan over and we'll just have a party here tonight. I've already made meatballs, if we go to the store now we can get some other stuff too." Sasori and the brains that he was had decided.

"Yeah okay that sounds good. Wait….what kind of alcohol do we have here?" Lola just had to know.

"Hidan's going to the liquor store after he goes to Blockbuster so it's hard to tell what the hell he will bring back."

"OH MY GOD! THAT SNOW BLOWER IS THE GREATEST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME!!!!" Kisame shouted as he stormed through the back door into the utility room. Kakuzu rolled his eyes.

"Alright, Itachi I'm about half way through the extensions. Just a little more to go and then you get to see it. Then we'll all get dressed to go to the club!" Marisol said happily.

"I appreciate you doing this, Marisol. I am finally I can compete with Deidara's long hair! And oh my god, Dana is going to think I'm gorgeous.

"Itachi, for god's sake it's three inches of hair! No one is going to be able to notice any difference!" Sasori said sick of Itachi's rambling about his hair.

"Hey, hey! You're just jealous because you have that horrible fire engine red hair! You just wish you had what I had, Sasori!" Itachi tried to challenge him. But Sasori just let it go.

"Oh my god! You wouldn't believe how much it's snowing out there, seriously. The city bus was totally crowded because the routes are shutting down early tonight for New Years and this dumb ass hobo tried to take my liquor! And I mean you would think that a hobo on a bus would attempt to steal someone's three bags of alcohol, seriously! Isn't it obvious that he wouldn't get by with it? God! Stupid hobos!" Hidan explained as he stumbled through the door with three liquor bags and season 1-3 of Seinfeld.

"Well, we are going to start drinking right now. Me and Sasori are going to the grocery store to get some stuff because my stupid office canceled the gala. You wanna go help pick stuff out?" Lola asked now that she had quickly changed clothes.

"Yeah, I'll go, seriously. Hey Zetsu, how about you unpack all this alcohol so we can par-tay once we get back."

"Okay, I'll do that but I'm not promising I won't have a drink before you get back."

Things were starting to heat up on New Year's Eve in the Akatsuki house……


	6. Tobi and the Legos

"Oh Marisol! Maaaaaaarisol! There you are, yeah." Deidara said suspiciously creeping around with something behind his back.

"Look at Princess, I put her New Year's collar on her!" Marisol held a purring Princess up for Deidara to see.

"Awww, don't you look pretty, Princess, yeah. Yes you do. Yes you do! But YOU look gorgeous, yeah." Deidara kissed Marisol. "Okay, okay sit down, yeah." Deidara instructed her. Marisol did as she was told and Deidara moved around her so that she wouldn't look behind his back. But then he threw his hands in front of her. "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, YEAH! I LOVE YOU!" Deidara shouted at her as he shoved a Christian Dior purse in her face.

"AAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH! OH MY GOD! IT'S THAT PURSE I WANTED! THANK YOU BABY! OH THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!" Marisol hugged him.

"Look inside! Open it up and look inside it, yeah!" Deidara encouraged her. Marisol once again did as she was instructed. She gasped.

"OH MY GOD! THESE ARE LIKE SO DIAMONDS!" Marisol paused, her wide eyes shining. "I'VE SO NEVER HAD DIAMONDS BEFORE! OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM BABY!" Marisol was beyond excited. In fact, her voice had become so high and squeaky that only dogs could hear her. But, she was in love and this was the perfect anniversary gift. It was now time for her and Dana and Deidara and Itachi to head for the club. Dana and Marisol were dressed in their incredibly scant club wear and Itachi was finally ready to show off his hair extensions.

"Hello Dana, you look so damn sexy tonight. Now….tell me the truth….what do you think?" Itachi said flipping this newly lengthened hair around. Dana squealed.

"Oh my god, I like so love the extensions baby, yeah! They are just like more than perfect! Oh my god didn't Marisol do like an amazing job, yeah!?" Dana asked excitedly. But Itachi's beauty would have to wait for now because it was time for them to head downstairs, say goodbye to everyone else and leave for the club.

"Hey everybody! We are like so leaving now, yeah! HAPPY NEW YEAR! Even though it's so not New year's yet." Dana said excitedly. Lola was calmly in the kitchen slicing cheese into cubes but she nearly cut her finger off when she saw how Dana and Marisol were dressed.

"My god! And I thought I was showing too much skin." Lola mumbled to herself looking down her own low cut top. "Um….aren't you two going to get cold? Marisol's top has…no back! What the hell?" Lola asked. Marisol laughed.

"Awww, Lola! You're looking out for me!" Marisol hugged Lola.

"Um, yeah….whatever…not really….now about you hugging me right now….stop."

"Well you don't have to worry about me Lola, Deidara is always really warm….that's because he's just so damn hot!" Marisol whispered the last part then giggled like crazy.

"Sasori…..please hit me over the head with a frying pan right now." Lola said as Marisol let go of her.

"Alright, we're leaving. We'll see you all in the next year." Itachi said flipping his newly acquired hair around.

"You know, I just don't get it! Why do they go to those clubs? I mean how does everyone know all the dance moves? Are they on an e-mail list or is there meetings you attend? Or a power point presentation maybe that's the secret?" Lola sighed. "Anyway, give me that salami I'll chop it now."

"What time is Konan and Pein coming over?" Kisame asked Sasori as he pulled the lasagna out of the oven.

"They will be here at 10:00. The leader isn't coming he and his wife are doing something stupid." Sasori answered. "Hidan, come get a piece of lasagna."

"What all did you two fix to eat anyway?" Zetsu walked over to the kitchen to check things out."

"There's the lasagna, garlic toast, this appetizer tray of cheese, salami and crackers, spinach dip and bread squares, salsa and chips, barbecued cocktail wieners, a shrimp ring, Boston cream pie, brownies, chocolate cheesecake trifle, a pitcher of margaritas, a pitcher of strawberry daiquiris, and all straight alcohol you can handle."

"Marry her, for the love of god Sasori marry this woman….NOW!" Zetsu persuaded. Sasori winked at him. "What the….what the hell!? Don't look at me like that…..I blush when you look at me like that!"

"OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING LASAGNA IN THE WORLD, SERIOUSLY. DAMN THIS IS SOME SERIOUS SHIT!" Hidan yelled. After the first season of Seinfeld was in the DVD player and the lasagna had been cut up….the one contest that everyone else dreaded had begun….Sasori and Lola's shot contest.

"Okay, okay, Lola think about what you said. I weigh twenty more pounds than you do. It is biologically impossible for you to beat me at taking shots." Sasori shoved a shot glass I front of her.

"Baby, you are forgetting that I worked Atlantic City…I can hold me some liquor." Lola said quickly gulping down the first shot. They were tied one to one.

Pein and Konan had arrived on time at 10:00.

"Hey, come in. Tobi's making a giant Lego blocks building in the middle of the floor, we're watching Seinfeld and Sasori and Lola are having a shot contest…Lola's owning his ass….she's up by two." Kakuzu explained as he let them in.

"Oh my god, Lola's doing shots without me? Lola, how many do I have to have to get caught up?" Konan asked wanting to join in on this contest.

"You're going to have to meet or beat 6!" announced.

"Oh my god, is this Seinfeld the first season?" Pein asked joining Hidan and Zetsu on the couch.

"Yes, and this is THE BEST FUCKING LASAGNA IN INT EHOLE WORLD! Hey, Kakuzu get Pein a piece of lasagna, seriously." Hidan ordered him.

"Hey, you do know its Sasori's lasagna recipe….right? I mean I just make it….but the recipe belongs to him." Lola said digging for a deck of cards.

"Oh my god, you all have so much food. Hey, Kakuzu hell just give me a little bit of everything." Pein insisted.

"Tobi, you are going to completely enclose yourself in that stupid Lego building of yours and then you're going to start screaming about how you're stuck and then you know what's going to happen? I'm going to have to pull your ass out, the Lego building will explode, blocks will go freaking everywhere, you'll start to cry, I'll lecture you about how constructing a giant building out of Legos in the living room was a stupid idea and then you'll have to search everywhere for all the blocks that went flying under the couch, under the table, into the kitchen and in front of the door…..now what do you have to say to that Tobi?" Kisame asked.

"Will hand me three blue blocks please? I need them to finish this window." Tobi asked politely. Kisame sighed.

"Fine…but I warned you!" Kisame handed Tobi the blocks.


	7. WE'RE LOUD WHEN WE'RE DRUNK

THERE IS A LOT OF YELLING IN THIS CHAPTER! X3

"OH MY GOD! THAT DJ IS PLAYING ALL THE VERY BEST STUFF TONIGHT!" Itachi yelled to Deidara.

"I KNOW! CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW COMPLETELY AMAZING THIS CLUB IS, YEAH!?"

" IT IS! AND YOU KNOW THAT ALL DRINKS ARE JUST 2 DOLLARS UNTIL MIDNIGHT!" Itachi yelled back.

"WELL I'M SWEATING SO MUCH THAT I'M JUST TOO SEXY, YEAH. LET'S GO GET SOMETHING NOW!" Deidara insisted. Deidara and Itachi and Deidara headed for the bar while Dana and Marisol were in the bathroom working on their hair. All the intense dance moves had left them both in a sea of tangles.

"Oh my god, Dana guess what. Deidara thinks I didn't get him anything for our anniversary…..but I like soooo did!" Marisol squealed.

"Really? What did you get him, yeah?" Dana asked her with blue eyes shining simply dying to know.

"Only what he's wanted for like the past seven months…A BLACK GIANNI VERSACE SUIT!" Marisol screamed.

"Oh my gooooooood! That is so the best gift in the entire world, yeah! I can't wait until you give that to him because….well I just can't wait that's all!!!!" Once they had finally finished working on their hair they returned to Itachi and Deidara who had a drink waiting for both of them.

"I am going to be so majorly drunk before the end of the night, yeah. Itachi will have to totally carry me out of here." Dana said.

"Holy shit, guess who I just saw come in here?! My stupid ass brother and Kabuto! God! Who the hell do they think they are!? I'll be back….I need to see how Sasuke is dressed." Itachi said taking his drink and making his way across the room towards Sasuke and Kabuto.

"Well, well, well….if it isn't Kabuto and my foolish little brother."

"Hello Itachi. Me and Sasuke decided to come here to celebrate the New Year because Orochimaru is at our super secret lair having a limbo contest with Tayuya, Sakon, Kimimaro, and some other worthless people." Itachi rolled his eyes.

"And so you two losers thought that you could fit in here?" Itachi challenged. "But the way? Sasuke…..what the FUCK are you wearing!? You don't wear that shit out in public. My god you may as well just have worn a dress!" Itachi complained.

"What's wrong with black pants and a black shirt?" Sasuke asked innocently.

"What's….what's……what's WRONG with black pants and a black shirt? WHAT'S WRONG WITH BLACK PANTS AND A BLACK SHIRT? YOU'RE NOT IN A HEAVY METAL BAND SASUKE! YOU'RE NOT PRESEIDENT OF THE EMO ASSOCIATION! HELL WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE DRESSING LIKE THAT AND WALKING INTO A CLUB!"

"So where is your dumb blond friend?" Kabuto asked.

"Deidara is not dumb….it's just that some things don't sink in as quickly with him." Itachi defended Deidara. Itachi's argument with Kabuto and Sasuke was interrupted….

"OH MY GOD! IT'S CARAMELLDANSEN! Forget you losers I've got to dance. DEIDARA DON'T START WITHOUT ME!" Itachi went pushing through the crowd to get back to Deidara so they could hit the dance floor with Dana and Marisol.

"OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD. NO LISTEN TO THIS SHIT!" Lola was a very loud woman at this point in the evening.

"LOLA YOUR VOICE IS LIKE SO LOUD RIGHT NOW!" Pein said just as loudly.

"HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY FUCK YOU I AM NOT LOUD!" Lola took still yet another shot. "OH SHIT!" Now Lola was laughing so hard it's a wonder she didn't pee her pants. While walking toward the kitchen to get a new bottle of vodka she had tripped over….well, nothing and was now rolling on the floor.

"LOLA WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO?" He asked her loudly.

"I FELL IN THE FUCKING FLOOR!" Now Pein thought this was freaking hysterical and now he was laughing just as hard as Lola.

"SHE FELL IN….SHE FELL IN THE…SHEEEEEEEE…….." And now Sasori thought this was hysterical and he had fallen over in Pein's lap…it wasn't a good position.

"You people are so fucking drunk, seriously." Hidan said in a normal speaking voice

"WE ARE SO NOT FUCKING DRUNK! LOLA BRING ME A MARGARITA!" Konan ordered trying to strip Pein of his shirt for whatever reason.

"Okay, in the past 5 minutes you people have said the word fuck at least 12 times. Has anyone else noticed that?" Zetsu asked.

"Dumbass it hasn't been 12 times." Kisame insisted. Lola returned to Konan with a margarita as she requested. Before this could be pondered any further Tobi interrupted everything.

"AAAGGGHHHHHHH! OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD! KISAME! I'M STUCK IN THE LEGO HOUSE! I'M STUCK IN THE LEGO HOUSE! I'M STUCK IN THE LEGO HOUSE! I'M STUCK IN THE LEGO HOUSE! Hey, it's kind of cozy in here….BUT I'M STUCK IN THE LEGO HOUSE! GET ME OUT KISAME! GET ME OUT! GET ME OUT! GET ME OUT! GET ME OUT! AGGGGGGHHHHH!" Kisame let Tobi panic from inside the Lego enclosure that he had built.

"Let's see…..did Kisame predict this? Did Kisame say that Tobi would get himself stuck in the stupid Lego house? I think he did!" Kisame said reflecting in the third perspective.

"OH MY GOD! THERE'S A LEGO HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR LIVING ROOM!" Sasori said in what was supposed to be his 'indoor voice'. He had just now noticed what Tobi had been doing for the past 2 hours.

"KISAME! KAKUZU! ANYONE! I'M STUCK IN THE LEGO HOUSE!" Tobi whined. Kisame sighed.

"Alright Tobi, I'm going to pull you out of the Lego house…..calm down…" Kisame walked over to the Lego structure…..reached into its tiny window and grabbed Tobi's arm. He tugged and pulled on Tobi until the house exploded.

"Hmmm, you know Deidara really should have been here to see this." Kisame commented. Kakuzu areed. The Legos of course went flying all over the play in at least 20 directions.

"HOLY SHIT, LITTLE BLOCKS ARE FLYING EVERYWHERE. HELL I MUST BE SO DRUNK!" Konan said. Now there sat Tobi in a sea of Legos….

"My….Lego house…..it's…..it's…..My LEGO HOUSE IS GONE!" Now Tobi started to cry. Kisame rolled his eyes.

"Tobi, what did I tell you about how building a Lego house in the living room was a…COMPLETELY IDIOTIC AND RETARDED IDEA! YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU WOULD HAVE GOTTEN STUCK IN THAT THING! NOW GET THE BOX AND START PICKING UP ALL THESE STUPID BLOCKS!" Kisame yelled at him.

"Can I have Kool-Aid?" Tobi whimpered. Kisame sighed in disgust and anger.

"Fine! I'll get it for you."

"HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY IF YOU GET TOBI KOOL AID PUT IT IN A SIPPY CUP SO HE DOESN'T SPILL IT ALL OVER THAT WHITE RUG LIKE HE DID WITH THE GRAPE KOOL AID! IT TOOK THAT CARPET CLEANER THREE FUCKING HOURS TO GET THE STAIN OUT."

"Sasori, you're so fucking drunk right now, and you're not even pointing at me, you're pointing at Hidan. Just be quiet Tobi won't spill the Kool Aid."

"Kisame, seriously he will spill the Kool Aid, the airplane sippy cup is in the cabinet above the sink…the elephant sippy cup is below the sink." Hidan instructed.

"Why the fuck do we have sippy cups…." Kisame mumbled to himself…


	8. Happy New Year!

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!"

"HAPPY NEW YEAR, YEAH!!!!!" It was midnight at the club. Of course Itachi, Deidara, Dana and Marisol were incredibly drunk from the half price drinks. Kabuto and Sasuke were trying to hang out with them.  
"Sasuke, Sasuke! I'm sorry! I'm sorry for all the mean things I've said to you! I'm sorry for fucking up your life and making you antisocial! It's a new year HUG ME!" Itachi always became emotional when he drank too much. Later he would surely unload on Deidara and pour his heart all over him.

"Dana hug me it's the new year AAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!" Marisol screamed as Dana threw her arms around Marisol.

"Oh my god Marisol! I so can't believe that we have partied here all night, yeah! This is so the best place ever. Marisol was swept up into Deidara's arms before she could talk about the club any longer with Dana. Of course his lips on hers took no convincing that this was way more fun than Dana.

"And, and, and….when you were six I told you our puppy ran away….the puppy didn't run away…DAD MADE ME TAKE HIM TO THE ANIMAL SHELTER! And the time I blamed you for spilling that cherry pie filling all over the kitchen…..it wasn't you….IT WAS MY FAULT BUT I TOLD MOM YOU DID THAT!" Itachi continued to bawl.

"Hey, Itachi we're like so ready to leave, yeah."

"DEIDARA! Oh my god, you are my BEST FRIEND!"

"Okay, Itachi you've just had a little too much to drink, yeah. You just take Dana's hand and we're going to go outside and get a cab, yeah."

"BUT YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME DURING THE HARD TIMES!" Itachi wailed. So how was everyone else ringing in the New Year you ask?

"HAPPY NEW YEAR! WOOOOO IT'S…..oh god…" Pein cut Konan of from her whooping and yelling because now he had her in a passionate kiss."

"Wow, I can't believe we've actually survived another year together." Kisame said, and he was right actually.

"Yeah, it's a wonder one of us hasn't ended up in the emergency room with a broken limb or in need of some serious psychological help." Zetsu agreed.

"Seriously, it's too bad that the leader couldn't be here tonight. I mean he's a fun guy. He has fun ideas. I mean he's not as fun of a drunk as Sasori and Lola are who are…challenging each other to an arm wrestling competition but still, I mean it's the leader." Hidan said.

"You know, this really has been a better New Year's than some of those in the past." Kisame reminisced. Of course his happy little moment was interrupted by the front door flying open and Deidara nearly falling on his face upon entry.

"HI EVERYONE! WE'RE LIKE SO BACK, YEAH!" Dana yelled stepping around her brother. "Oh my god, you so have stuff to drink! MARISOL THERE ARE MARGARITAS OVER HERE!" Dana said immediately going to the kitchen and searching for a glass to pour a margarita…as if she hadn't had enough to drink.

"No Lalo! Two out of three and the loser has to sleep with me!" the drunk Sasori proclaimed.

"Did he just call her Lalo?" Kakuzu asked.

"Of course he did. Sasori rearranged the letters of her name in Las Vegas and now every time he's drunk that always comes out."

"Well enjoy your hand tonight BITCH!" was Lola's comeback.

"Oh, oh, oh, oh what? What, now Lalo, Lalo I am not your bitch."

"You are right now because I am so owning your ass at this game!" Lola said. "So, the LOSER of this game has to make me a peanut butter sandwich and bring it upstairs to me with a glass of Juicy Juice! I'll decide what else after I get that much!" Lola finished her threats.

"Except that you got none of that because I am going to beat you." Sasori challenged her.

Itachi entered the house still an emotional and sappy drunk. "OH MY GOD KISAME YOU MEAN SO MUCH TO ME!" Itachi ran over to hug Kisame. And speaking of hugs…

"DEIDARAAAAAAAAAAAA SENPAIIIIIIIIIII!" Tobi ran frantically until he had Deidara clenched in his arms. "HAPPY NEW YEAR! HAPPY NEW YEAR! HAPPY….." Deidara cut him off angrily….he wasn't happy about this death hug.

"OH MY GOD TOBI! I JUST HAD THIS SHIRT IRONED! I JUST HAD IT IRONED, YEAH! LET GO OF ME BEFORE YOU WRINKLE IT! LET ME GO, YEAH! TOBI! TOBI! YOU ARE GOING TO WRINLE THIS!" Deidara finally pried Tobi off of him just in time to get a margarita from Marisol.

"OOOOOOOOH I JUST FREAKING WON! OH, OH, OH SMACK THIS SHIT!" Ah yes, there was nothing more drunken than Lola talking trash after a classic game of….arm wrestling. "Hey, I want the white bread in the bottom drawer, I'll be upstairs in bed waiting on it. Oh and make sure the Juicy Juice is damn cold." Just as Lola prepared to head upstairs, Pein was coming downstairs.

"Just so you know, Konan threw up in your bathroom." No one knew when they had even gone upstairs.

"Well shit fucking hell ass bitch! I was just going upstairs to await my peanut butter sandwich! There's Clorox cleanup under the sink." Lola said less than thrilled.

"Oh, well it's okay I mean she threw up in your toilet….but now she's asleep in your bed…." Pein said.

"Fucking hell….Sasori, I'll be in Hidan's room ours is occupied."

"Wait…..do you want raspberry jam on your sandwich?" the defeated Sasori asked her.

"Just bring the jar and the knife I'll spread it all over your….oh shit am I talking out loud right now? No jam! No jam! No jam!" And Lola disappeared upstairs…most likely for the night.

"Hey, hey, Pein I know that you are drunker than me so why don't you go upstairs and sleep in our room tonight. Me and Lola will stay in Hidan's room…he won't care." Sasori told him.

"Okay, I will because I can barely stand and Konan's already out cold."

"KISAME HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU THAT IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU BEING LESS HOT THAN ME….I WOULD FEEL PRESSURED TO BE THINNER!?" Itachi was still having an emotional overload on Kisame.

"Yes, Itachi that's very nice no please let me go and go drink with Dana and Marisol."

"BUT I HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD YOU WHAT AN INSPIRATION YOUR SWORD IS TO ME!" Itachi was still crying. Kisame sighed.

"Isn't it time for you to bang Dana's brains out?"

"Oh my god! I just won three dollars on a scratch off lottery ticket!" Kakuzu said jumping up from the couch. No one knew where he got his scratch off lottery ticket from. The current time was now 12:45 and Dana had just dared Marisol to step outside with only the very few clothes on her back…and she did it.

"Oh my god! Dana it is like so totally cold outside!" Marisol said stating the obvious.

"Why the hell do you have a peanut butter sandwich and a glass of Juicy Juice? Zetsu asked.

"Lola owned my ass at arm wrestling." Sasori admitted.

Happy New Year Akatsuki….Happy New Year…


	9. The Resolutions

Okay, I haven't updated the poll results in a while, so here's how it stands as of today: Itachi, 9 votes Deidara, 8 votes Hidan, 6 votes and Sasori, 4 votes. Thanks to everybody for voting! I'm closing the poll in a few days.

Oh and I also have to make the announcement that I'm getting a kitty in a few months and I'm soooooo excited!!!!!!

Okay….new chapter……

"I thought they were asleep in Hidan's room?" Kisame whispered to Zetsu.

"Nah, after Lola finished her sandwich they came back down here, and fell asleep during the replay of the Seahawks and Vikings game." Zetsu whispered back.

"Well, how long has that sea of blond been asleep in the chair?" Kisame asked referring to Deidara, and the fact that Marisol was curled up on his lap.

"Now that, I have no idea. Hey, come here, look how much it snowed last night." Zetsu said pointing outside.

"Oh my god…I gotta get….." Zetsu cut Kisame off.

"No…you don't need to get the snow blower yet. Why don't you make yourself useful and start cooking our annual New Years Day breakfast.

"I'll wake them up!" Kisame said.

"Oh, and a snow blower won't!? Here come on, I'll help you get all the crap out." Zetsu said opening the refrigerator to get eggs. "Alright, here eggs, and butter to start. Orange juice, maybe this milk. Oh strawberries! Cheese…..here put this shredded cheese in the eggs." Zetsu was handing stuff to Kisame.

"Bread…..hey should we make pancakes?" Kisame wondered.

"Why the hell wouldn't we make pancakes?" Zetsu asked.

"I don't know." Kisame said sitting the pancake mix on the counter. Here's the pancake syrup. Zetsu, Zetsu we need sausage or bacon or something. We always have that New Year's Day." Kisame said.

"Oh yeah, well let me look deeper in the fridge. Dude, we have both let's make both!" Zetsu insisted.

"Okay. Oh and French toast! Let's make French toast…you know for fun." Kisame said.

"Yeah, yeah alright and breakfast potatoes! Let's make breakfast potatoes!" Zetsu insisted. It was obvious Kisame and Zetsu were going to play chef this morning. Meanwhile, upstairs Tobi, Kakuzu and Hidan were the first ones awake. Surprisingly, Kakuzu and Hidan weren't fighting yet. However, a sleepy Tobi managed to fall down the stairs, which immediately woke Deidara and Marisol. Somehow, Sasori and Lola managed to sleep right through the fallen Tobi.

"Damn it Tobi! Why are you always so loud? Can't you see me and Kisame as trying to prepare breakfast quietly?" Zetsu scolded him.

"Hi everyone!" Marisol said sleepily.

"Aww, look Marisol, Kisame is fixing our New Year's Day breakfast, yeah!" Deidara said still trying to wake up."

"Oh my god, this is going to be one hell of a breakfast, seriously." Hidan said looking at the spread that Kisame and Zetsu had cluttered up the kitchen with.

"I'll set the table." Hidan offered pulling plates out of the kitchen cabinet. Lola was next to wake from last night's drunken escapades.

"Oh god….damn….last night was…..freakin insane……good stuff…..goooood stuff." Lola said stretching out. Of course, as she awoke Sasori was in the process of waking up as well. But her accidentally hitting him in the head didn't help.

"Oh…..oh….oh….shit…..sorry honey." She still didn't have her senses about her.

"Deidara, I'm going to see if Princess needs her water changed and then I'm going to come upstairs to get dressed, will you get me something out to wear?" Marisol asked.

"Of course, I will, yeah." But as Deidara proceeded upstairs he realized what was going on in the kitchen. "Oh my god, there is food….everywhere, yeah."

"Can't you see that we're making breakfast?" Kisame asked.

"Well, I can now, yeah." Deidara said.

"Please, for the love of god tell me you have a pot of coffee brewed." Sasori asked still barely awake.

"Yeah, we uh….we have coffee. Oh my god Zetsu put a pot on fast, now, now, now!" Kisame whispered, knowing very well that the hung over Sasori would be a raging dragon if he didn't have his coffee.

"I'm hurrying, shit where the hell are the filters?" Both Zetsu and Kisame would have to clamber around to get that coffee started immediately.

"New Year, new me…..my hips don't lie. God I look good with Dana's scent all over me and this lusciously gorgeous black hair I mean, Sasuke only wishes he looked this good." Itachi announced as he made his way downstairs. "Hey we didn't put our New Year's resolutions on the refrigerator like we always do. I'll start the list. My resolution is to not call Sasuke a bitch so much." Itachi wrote that down and gave the tablet to Tobi. Tobi thought very hard about his resolution.

"My resolution is to make my bed every day!" Tobi announced. Tobi handed over the tablet to Hidan.

"Seriously, my resolution is to spread the word of Jasshin to at least 14 people." Hidan passed it along to Kakuzu.

"My resolution is to save thirty dollars a month." Kakuzu passed it to Sasori.

"Talk to grandma once a week." Sasori said groggily scribbling that down on paper. Now it was Lola's turn.

"Fire my assistant. Here, Hidan take this to Kisame." Lola threw the tablet on the floor.

"Hmmm, you know I'm going to workout every day." Kisame stated. And now for Zetsu…

"I will stay out of the plant food." He promised. Everyone would have to wait to learn everyone else's resolutions." As for breakfast, the potatoes were cooking, the strawberries were washed, most of the meat was sizzling and Pein was….what appeared to be a failed attempt to swipe Sasori's comforter.

"What the hell are you doing?" Itachi asked.

"I'm…..washing this blanket….and these sheets and these pillow cases and anything else me and Konan slept on in Sasori's bed." Pein explained. Itachi eyed him suspiciously.

"What did you do?" Itachi asked. Pein looked around.

"You um….you really don't want to know…just cover me so I can get all of this washed and put in its place again."

"Oh my god! You will so never believe what I did in the shower, yeah! I was like all washing my hair and then….I so got tons of shampoo in my eyes, yeah. How stupid is that? It's like I'm dumb or something." Dana said as she pranced down the stairs.

"Dana, you need to write your New Year's resolution on this tablet." Itachi told her.

"Oh okay. Hmmmmm….my resolution is to organize my clothes by color, yeah!" Dana thought it was a great New Years' resolution.

"Alright, here take this pot of coffee to Sasori and Lola." Kisame handed the pot over as he cooked away in the kitchen. Konan had emerged from the bedroom upstairs.

"God, that is one kick ass mattress. I swear I was out last night. I have never fallen asleep that quickly. Oh am I supposed to write my New Year's resolution on this tablet?" Konan asked anyone who would answer.

"Yes, write it down and go ahead to the table because breakfast is getting closer." Kisame said.

"My resolution….is to try to have a baby."

"What the hell Konan?" Hidan asked.

"I said TRY." She reiterated. After what had seemed like a very long morning, the giant breakfast was finished. Pein's resolution was to beat the leader at racquetball, Marisol's resolution was to always refill the soap bottles, and Deidara's resolution was to clean the pool out every day during the summer. It was only a matter of time now before everyone was gathered around the dining room table for their first breakfast together for the new year.

And here's a preview of my next story, an idea given to me by someone who had messaged me a while back. I am VERY SORRY I forget who gave me this idea because they deserve the credit. Anyway, thanks so much to everyone for reading and now the first story of 2008: A Typical Day with Akatsuki. First chapter coming soon!!


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